Being Our Sisters' Keeper

Today’s post is a simple plea.

Be your sisters’ keeper.

Now before you think this is a post about keeping your friends on the straight and narrow . . . it’s not. Keep reading.

The author and her sisters

As women, we face many challenges; workplace discrimination, impossibly high cultural and social expectations, family responsibilities, religious service, and self-doubt and perfectionism, to name a few. I’ve watched over the years as so many of my favorite women (sisters, friends, roommates, coworkers) pick themselves apart, trying to fit into some sort of pre-conceived mold of femininity, beauty, success, or intelligence. Over time, and growing up with images and ads all around us, we can so easily feel that our worth is diminished by not fitting into one of those molds.

I’ve watched as some of the most talented, beautiful, kind and compassionate women I know, settle for less than wonderful men.  Why do they do this? There are many reasons. I won’t pretend I know what the reasons are for every woman in every situation. And I’m not trying to say that we need to have a standard of perfection when it comes to our dating and marriage relationships, so don’t get me wrong. But the issue I see more and more in my young friends who start on that exciting path to finding “Mr. Right” is that they fall for anyone who tells them they are special. Or beautiful. Or intelligent. Or capable. Whatever the word may be and where ever their own insecurities lie.

Too often these wonderful young women don’t already believe these things about themselves. They don’t have that sense of worth that intrinsically tells them they are “all of the above”. And when we don’t have that sense of self-worth…it becomes easy to latch onto people who will tell us we are awesome. Is it bad for our boyfriends to tell us we’re awesome?! No! But, if other issues exist in a relationship, it can be hard to look past the praise and adoration you receive in order to address those issues. That’s when our lack of self-love becomes detrimental.

But if we can simply be kind to one another . . .

If we are willing to take the time to complement our sisters and friends, our roommates and coworkers; to tell them how amazing we think they are; that we believe in them and in their abilities and talents. Then. Then will we be enabling an entire generation of women who won’t settle for anything less than what they deserve. Or for anyone less than someone who truly loves them.

Let’s not judge the women we associate with. Sure she’s wearing something you find less than appropriate for the workplace. Yes, that one seems to really enjoy getting attention from men. Ugh, she thinks she’s so much better than everyone else, doesn’t she?

Please stop those thoughts. We are all in need of a little kindness and understanding. We are all in need of friends who encourage and support us. And we are all in need of love.

And it starts with the women around us.

We can have an enormous impact on the women in our lives if we will take the time to be kind.

So be your sisters’ keeper. Keep them knowing how much they are worth. And the next time a man comes along and tells them, “You’re beautiful.” Their natural response will be, “Duh.”

-Maranda

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