My senior year I noticed two things-
- I was always genuinely happy after an event at which I was being my town's reigning queen, no matter how stressed or tired I was going into it.
- No matter how good of a mood I was in when I started driving, after about 5 minutes my thoughts would always start gravitating to the negative side of things.
Hm. Interesting observations. I began pondering on possible explanations for these things. If there was some secret for being genuinely happy at any time, I wanted to know it! And ending up cranky after 5 minutes of driving was definitely a drag. I realized the difference was incredibly simple.
Smiling.
:)
At events I was constantly smiling and looking for people to connect with and lift up. While driving, I would squint a little bit in concentration, resulting in a bit of a frown and a headache. (Bad habit from the first few anxious months of driving?) To test this simple difference, whenever I noticed I was getting my "anxious driving face" on I grinned. At the road, at the trees, at the yellow lines in the middle of the road. I just practiced smiling. And I'm not talking just turning the corners of my mouth up, I'm talking tongue-sticking-out-like-I'm-about-to-giggle, eye-wrinkles, thinking-about-happy-times, genuine smiling. IT MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE!
Fast forward several months. I'm a freshman here at BYU, and once again feeling anxious and overwhelmed and totally lost. But not wanting to look like it, what was I going to do? Smile. Of course! (Isn't it funny how smiling seems to be the answer to so many of life's little problems.) This time I discovered the majesty and grandeur of smiling to a much higher level. I was incredibly happier the days that I walked campus with my head up, looking for people to briefly lock eyes with and smile at. I didn't just look more confident, I was. I didn't just look happy, I was.
As I made smiling at anyone whose eye I could catch a habit, I noticed a trend. As the semester went on it was harder to find people to smile at. Did a significant amount of people decide to completely un-enroll in classes? Did the professors all get together and decide to be mean and scary that semester? Not that I'm aware of! Initially, more people had their heads up and were aware of and taking in information about their surroundings. As people got more comfortable with their day-to-day schedules they started to become more introverted. Whether it was retreating into their headphones, ground, or phone, they stopped being open to the world around them. And they sure looked a lot less happy.
Often I would pass by a person and look at them totally ready to smile, but they kept their head down. Looking worried or tired and not walking with purpose or poise, they weren't available to receive my smile. I would just want to tap them on the shoulder, give them a smile, and say, "Good is out there! Just be open to it!"
Maybe that seems like a big jump--from looking at the ground to not being open to the good in the world. But let me explain. When I think about the times in my life that were turning points, rarely are they grandiose gestures. Eighty-five percent of the time they are very small things that took a person five minutes max to put together: leaving me a candy bar with a good luck note, writing an apology note when I was the one mostly in the wrong and hadn't said sorry yet, a sweet text, even letting me dry my hands first in a public bathroom for crying out loud! They just came at the right time. Those small gestures triggered a train of thoughts and beliefs that eventually led me to a much more mentally peaceful place.
With all of the snow and ice and threat of slipping ecently, I've noticed I've felt far more down than a regular few off-days in a row. I realized this last Wednesday, and my first instinct was to lift my head up and smile at people. I realized it was not as easy as it used to be! For one, I was scared of taking my eyes off of every inch of ground my foot was about to be placed next, and second, everyone else was too! EVERYONE seemed to be in their own little worlds. Conversely, when the sun came out Friday was I the only one who noticed everyone was happier? I think a lot of it was because people were looking up, connecting with people, and smiling again!
A smile isn't just a smile. Its an acknowledgement to another person that you see their presence in this world and are grateful for it. It’s an act of service, and love. It’s a symbol of hope and a resolve for resilience. For all of these reasons, I would like to say, that I believe in smiling.