A couple months ago, I attended an Institute class that focused on the roles of men and women in God's plan for us. Our very well-meaning instructor had planned for a discussion on the differences between men and women and the roles that we each fulfill. What could have been an enlightening and uplifting hour of instruction and discussion quickly deteriorated into an uncomfortable 45 minutes of gender-biased, sexist comments. You might be surprised to know that women were not the targeted group in this case. Men were. In attempting to generate positive talk about women, discussion ended up generating negative talk about men and their attitudes and roles. The class somehow became a male-bashing session.
I think this is something that happens more often than we notice or care to admit, for both men and women. In trying to play up the positive qualities of one gender, we often exaggerate or make up negative stereotypes for the other. An example from this class on men and women's different roles: “Women are nurturing and caring, and naturally giving. Men, on the other hand . . . they're usually too preoccupied with what's on ESPN to notice when someone needs nurturing.” Ouch. Other comments I've heard talk about how women are spiritually in-tune while men just fall asleep during Elder's Quorum, or how girls are sensitive and emotionally aware while guys are totally clueless when it comes to feelings. These comments are examples of misandry, also referred to as "man-hating" or "male-bashing." Chances are, when we take comments like this and laugh them off, saying that it's a “girl thing” or a “guy thing,” we're perpetuating unfair gender stereotypes.
This phenomena even extends into TV. Think about it—how many commercials have you seen for products such as vacuum cleaners, carpet stain remover, or laundry detergent in which the woman of the house is portrayed as a competent, able homemaker, and the man of the house is portrayed as inept, lazy, clumsy, or unaware as he spills things, stains carpet or linen, and then makes bashful faces as his wife comes to the rescue? An example:
Or how about sitcoms in which the dad is portrayed as the goofy and lazy one who thinks too much about sex, while the mom is portrayed the uptight and responsible one who is always nagging? Not all commercials and TV shows are like that, of course, but there's been enough sexism against both men and women to create quite a bit of dialogue in media reviews over the past couple of years.
The efforts being made to stop degrading portrayals of women are both commendable and desperately needed. There are so many good things happening as the world recognizes the problems that women face with sexism and derogatory commentary and attitudes. There is also a lot of progress that still needs to be made, especially in combating issues such as domestic violence and pornography. But although we sometimes don't think about it, men are often the victims of sexist jokes, negative stereotypes, and unfair expectations. Let's not forget that men deserve and need the same type of respect as women. At their roots, “women's issues” really are everyone's issues. They're issues of fair treatment, respect, and humanity. Unfair treatment of either men or women will ultimately lead to problems for both genders. Likewise, real solutions to the problems that exist for both genders will be a victory for all.
Article by Jessica Croft
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Article by Jessica Croft