All About That Bass . . . What Does That Even Mean??

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We've all heard the catchy tune and it's probably stuck in your head and has been for weeks (wait, is that just me?) Anyway, at first when I heard the song I got really excited because I heard phrases like, "every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top" or "You know I won't be no stick figure silicone barbie doll, so if that's what you're into then go ahead and move along." I mean, these lyrics are empowering and wonderful and strong! So at first I really bought into that message of the song. Love yourself. If someone thinks you're not good enough, tell them to take a hike because you're perfect how you are! YES! Plus it's catchy. Win, win, win.

But then the more I listened the more I realized that the song kinda doesn't actually say all of that. Disappointing. I know. With lyrics like "my momma she told me don't worry about your size," I'm thinking, I like where this is going, yeah, I'm dancing. And then she ends the sentence with "she says, 'boys like a little more booty to hold at night.'" Wait, what?! Did she just say that? So . . . the only reason we should like whatever "perfect" size we are is because boys like it? No! Don't agree! And then hearing about having "all that boom boom [whatever that is!] that all the boys chase and all the right junk in all the right places," I'm all of a sudden thinking that this isn't actually an awesome, empowering, body-loving song. And then I cry a little for the state of the world, but that's another topic for another day.

So, my question is this: why do we (as a society) think that the only reason for women to love our bodies is because it's what men/boys want?! Why do we have to sexualize women in any way at all? Hey little miss pop star, there is MORE to you than what a boy wants to chase or grab! I wish we could send messages to the world, and especially women, about loving yourself because you DESERVE it and not because you're something that is desirable or sexy or because you're an object.

All of this hopefully is making you take a second to really pay attention to the stuff we're hearing daily! Sure this song is incredibly catchy and fun, and dang do I sound good when I'm singing along to it in the car! But what are you hearing and starting to believe and what are our daughters/nieces/sisters hearing about where their value or beauty comes from?

By: Lauren Drean
Women's Services Intern ADSENSE HERE

Resources for Combating Disordered Eating and Negative Body Image

Guest Blog Post from Lauren Absher, RD, CD—BYU Student Health Center

Kimberly Reid, writer for the Ensign, said, “We live in a society that emphasizes the body and limits the definition of beauty. If we are not careful, we may adopt unrealistic standards. More than sixty-five years ago, writer C. S. Lewis observed that the adversary uses distorted body images in the media to direct ‘the desires of men to something which does not exist.’  That trend increases today.”¹

Elder Holland has counseled, “In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet . . . a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. . . . This is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much … unhappiness.”²

Society’s pressures on appearance only seem to be getting worse. The way people perceive their bodies can affect emotions, appetite, food intake, exercise patterns, relationships, self-worth, and even life goals. Food and physical activity cease to be a way of taking care of the body and mind and instead shift to obsessions. Then, disordered patterns of thought and behavior may set in. Food and body become the enemies. The eating disorder becomes a negative way of coping with life’s stresses. Once these patterns are established, it may often require professional help to break the cycle and shift their way of thinking because the grasp is so addictive. Many people do not know where to turn for help.

I have worked as a dietitian at Center for Change for six years. I love helping people on their path to establishing a healthy relationship with food and with their bodies. The most effective way for people who struggle with eating disorders to recover is to have a solid support team who are experts in this area: a physician, therapist, and dietitian. Physicians monitor labs and vitals that may be affected by malnourishment. Therapists address the underlying issues that lead to the behaviors and suggest ways to change the negative thought processes about food and body.

Dietitians help provide education on proper nutrition and exercise balance, address emotional overeating and restricting, challenge clients to break the rigidity and become more flexible about their food choices, combat common myths about food and the all-or-nothing thinking, provide accountability for eating disorder behaviors, and guide setting goals to return to normal eating, to decrease other disordered patterns, and to work on body image acceptance. The dietitian plays a key role in helping individuals accept the need for change and the ability to give themselves permission to eat. Sometimes awareness may not even come until meeting with a dietitian who will point out restrictive patterns.

I took on the position of the dietitian at the BYU Student Health Center because I feel so passionately that many people may need help but may not know where to find it, or they may need a support team in closer proximity to campus. The therapists at the Counseling and Psychological Services have an eating disorder treatment team, and I am working in conjunction with them to provide better resources for students. 

Working toward recovery can feel like a battle, but it does not have to be fought alone. We all have the same goal in mind: to guide people who struggle with eating disorders toward recovery. We are ready to help.

Lauren Absher, RD, CD

801-422-5156

1. Kimberly Reid, Dating and the Eternal Perspective, February 2008 Ensign

2. Jeffrey R. Holland, To Young Women, October 2005

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Is Loving Yourself Trendy?

Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty

It was ten years ago that Dove launched its campaign for real beauty. In the movements that have followed since, Dove has worked hard to present themselves as the company that encourages every woman to feel beautiful regardless of shape or size. While I think the message is an important one I get frustrated that the "Loving Yourself" movement has just become a trendy marketing strategy. For example, Dove's parent company Unilever, also owns Axe, a soap company for men. Their ads are blatantly sexual and in my opinion, degrading. If the powers that be really wanted to promote self love and acceptance, they would. Unilaterally. Instead it feels a lot like they want to sell a product.

Axe's latest line of ads. This *really* looks like an ad for shower gel to me. 

Special K cereal has a line of commercials that talk about how worth isn't the number on the scale and how we need to fight "fat talk." Well, that's great but they also tell you that if you replace 2 meals a day with their cereal you too can lose weight! I'm pretty sure replacing 2 meals with about 150 calorie substitutes most people would lose weight, but no—buy their cereal and you will not care about the number on the scale either.  

I get tired of companies capitalizing on women's insecurities. Almost always when I see ads about loving yourself and acceptance I think about who is making money in this. Colbie Caillat just released a new video about not trying so hard. I know you've seen it. Our office posted it last week and it showed up on my Facebook about a million times this weekend. In fact, since its release last week it has nine million views. It's a really beautiful message about being okay with you . . . but I think: Is this a popularity stunt? Nine million in 5 days is, well, a lot of people listening to you sing. This woman doesn't work out of the kindness of her heart. She is in a money-making business. I would take off my makeup for that too.  

Don't get me wrong, talking about loving yourself is better than the trash that is in that Axe ad up above. Perhaps I'm just a cynic at heart, but I wonder if it is our buying in to a 'love yourself' trend that is actually making a mockery out of serious things. What do you think? Are you also fed-up with companies cashing in on our insecurities??

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A Society of Possible Gods and Goddesses

This statistic hits a sensitive spot: The National Science Foundation has found that females make up only eighteen percent of all college engineering majors, and yet sixty-six percent of fourth-grade girls express that they like math and science. While there are many possible explanations for this disparity, this ad focuses on the importance of recognizing the subtle and not-so-subtle social cues that may drive girls away from math and science as they grow.

As you will see in the video, a girl is portrayed in her development from toddler to teenager, as she is confronted with subtle statements that may, in the end, push her from the STEM subjects (science, technology, engineering, math) in school. What if STEM subjects are her specialty and her joy? I can’t help but think what an enriching mother and competent professional one would become, if given the chance to explore it all with passion and curiosity. And I gratifyingly testify that motherhood is a rigorous profession! Let me also say that I ‘m not just referring to what a person does with his or her field of study—it seems rather concerning to consciously or subconsciously push people away from their gifts and purposes, which gifts and purposes can be used for the eternities.

Unfortunately, those are not the only subtle, discouraging messages young girls are hearing these days. There’s quite a barrage of media messages that tell them that a girl is better off holding a tube of lipstick than a test tube. I’m not against lipstick—I wear it. But I yearn to have society and myself never make the mistake of valuing a girl for unimportant reasons.

While for some the prevailing thought in society is of how pretty a girl is, the video ends with the thought-provoking question: “Isn't it time we told her she's pretty brilliant, too?”

Yes.

Empowering.

As author C. S. Lewis said, "It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses . . .”

We have eons of learning to accomplish and endless fields of study to explore to begin to harness such a thought! Let it begin NOW!

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#LikeAGirl

There’s a campaign out there: “#LikeAGirl.” The aim? To eliminate negativity against girls.

Think about someone telling you that you hit “like a girl,” or you throw “like a girl,” or you run “like a girl,” or you think “like a girl.” Is this a good thing? A spunky young girl is asked this in a brief video segment found here ( http://knowmore.tv/family-2/why-is-likeagirl-an-insult-it-has-to-stop/86461 ), and with the poise of confidence and innocence responded, “I actually don’t know . . . if it’s a good thing or a bad thing,” answering as if she can’t imagine why anyone would consider saying it negatively. The negativity seems to simply not be part of her world. She looks to be about 10 or 11 years old. What will she think about “like a girl” next year, when puberty hits? I believe it will depend a great deal on whether she hears this with the negative connotation or with the positive. 

KnowMore’s parenting expert Dr. Robyn Silverman said, “Much of society has equated ‘like a girl’ to being weak or less than. This is not a ‘girl problem,’ but rather, a ‘societal problem’ that must be addressed if we are to see our girls truly succeed.”

Silverman continues with, “A campaign that asks us to recognize our mistake of defining ‘like a girl’ in a negative way and then proposes that we reassign positive terms to the phrase is asking for important societal change. Only when society sees the true value of being a girl can the girls see the true value in themselves.” And, I’d like to add, see the true value of the traditional and the groundbreaking paths she pursues, and everything (appropriate) in between.

Can you imagine the effect of such a campaign succeeding to the point that girls—young, middle-age, and old, across the board—respond with the prevailing thought that “like a girl” has certainly got to be a tremendous compliment.

What will seeing “our girls truly succeed” look like? Empowering. Legitimate. Entirely full of capability. Gifted. Of utmost value.

Some girls already know what it looks like because they were exposed to the idea that girls and women are masterpieces in their own right. There was never a question in their soul and/or in their environment that told them otherwise.

I recognize that there are boys and men who are told to question their worth as well, but not to the degree to which girls and women are confronted—pervasive objectification and negative verbalization, etc.

#LikeAGirl. This campaign is purposing to make this a phrase equated with the magnificence of girls and women. Let’s wipe out the negativity. We’re above this! And the next time someone says, “You ________________ like a girl,” tell them, “Thank You!”

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