Is Loving Yourself Trendy?

Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty

It was ten years ago that Dove launched its campaign for real beauty. In the movements that have followed since, Dove has worked hard to present themselves as the company that encourages every woman to feel beautiful regardless of shape or size. While I think the message is an important one I get frustrated that the "Loving Yourself" movement has just become a trendy marketing strategy. For example, Dove's parent company Unilever, also owns Axe, a soap company for men. Their ads are blatantly sexual and in my opinion, degrading. If the powers that be really wanted to promote self love and acceptance, they would. Unilaterally. Instead it feels a lot like they want to sell a product.

Axe's latest line of ads. This *really* looks like an ad for shower gel to me. 

Special K cereal has a line of commercials that talk about how worth isn't the number on the scale and how we need to fight "fat talk." Well, that's great but they also tell you that if you replace 2 meals a day with their cereal you too can lose weight! I'm pretty sure replacing 2 meals with about 150 calorie substitutes most people would lose weight, but no—buy their cereal and you will not care about the number on the scale either.  

I get tired of companies capitalizing on women's insecurities. Almost always when I see ads about loving yourself and acceptance I think about who is making money in this. Colbie Caillat just released a new video about not trying so hard. I know you've seen it. Our office posted it last week and it showed up on my Facebook about a million times this weekend. In fact, since its release last week it has nine million views. It's a really beautiful message about being okay with you . . . but I think: Is this a popularity stunt? Nine million in 5 days is, well, a lot of people listening to you sing. This woman doesn't work out of the kindness of her heart. She is in a money-making business. I would take off my makeup for that too.  

Don't get me wrong, talking about loving yourself is better than the trash that is in that Axe ad up above. Perhaps I'm just a cynic at heart, but I wonder if it is our buying in to a 'love yourself' trend that is actually making a mockery out of serious things. What do you think? Are you also fed-up with companies cashing in on our insecurities??

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Mindful Eating

This past week I made a goal: I was going to eat mindfully. That means that every time I put something into my mouth I was going to actually taste it. Furthermore, I was going to evaluate what sounded good to me and let myself eat those things. I know, I know. It’s a pretty novel idea. 

Lately, I've been noticing that I have been running around so much that many times I am just putting food in my mouth because I feel like I should. I should be hungry, or I should be thinking about lunch right about now. So often I just grab something while I’m driving or working or reading or (let’s be honest here) watching TV that I look down and half of my meal is gone without me even stopping to taste it! From now until the end of the month I am going to taste and enjoy what I put in my body. Whether it is a piece of juicy watermelon (SO good this time of year!) or a slice of chocolate cake I am going to really savor that moment. I guess it just hit me that so often I’m eating dessert and I am not even enjoying it because I am eating too fast without awareness. Talk about a tragedy! 

If this sounds familiar to your life I invite you to join me in my mindful eating quest!  Here are six tips to mindful eating brought to you by the people at the National Eating Disorder Awareness team:

1. Shift out of Autopilot Eating—What did you have for breakfast? Be honest. Many people eat the same thing day in and day out.  Notice whether you are stuck in any kind of rut or routine.

2. Take Mindful Bites—Did you ever eat an entire plate of food and not taste one single bite? Bring all of your senses to the dinner table. Breathe in the aroma of a fresh loaf of bread. Notice the texture of yogurt on your tongue. Truly taste your meal. Experience each bite from start to finish.

3. Attentive Eating—Sure, you’re busy and have a lot “on your plate.” It’s hard to make eating a priority rather than an option or side task. If you get the urge for a snack while doing your homework or studying, stop and take a break so that you can give eating 100% of your attention. Try to avoid multitasking while you eat. When you eat, just eat.

4. Mindfully Check In—How hungry am I on a scale of one to ten? Gauging your hunger level is a little like taking your temperature. Each time you eat, ask yourself, “Am I physically hungry?” Aim to eat until you are satisfied, leaving yourself neither stuffed nor starving.

5. Thinking Mindfully—Observe how critical thoughts like “I don’t want to gain the Freshman Fifteen” or “I’m so stupid, how could I do that!” can creep into your consciousness. Just because you think these thoughts doesn't mean you have to act on them or let them sway your emotions. Negative thoughts can trigger overeating or stop you from adequately feeding your hunger. Remember: A thought is just a thought, not a fact.

6. Mindful Speech—Chit chatting about dieting and fat is so commonplace that we often aren't truly aware of the impact it might have on our self-esteem. When you are with friends and family, be mindful of your gut reaction to “fat talk” (e.g. “I’m so fat!” or the “I’m so fat," "No you’re not” debate). Keep in mind how the words might affect someone struggling with food issues.

I know life is busy, but let’s all work together this month to taste, enjoy, and treat ourselves with delicious foods of a variety of flavors!

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Body Love: Are You Happy in Your Own Skin?

Loving your body can be tough. Poor body image has many negative outcomes—it contributes to depression and eating disorders, undermines self-confidence, and inhibits sexual expression. When we feel unattractive, we are more fearful of negative evaluations from others and develop shame. Such shame leads to self-disrespecting behavior such as chronic dieting, overeating, compulsive exercising, and other forms of purging. While body image tends to have very little correlation with how you actually look (beautiful women are as likely as plain to be unhappy with their looks), there are strong links to negative body image and low self-esteem.

As I was doing research on this topic, I came across a YouTube video about a young woman, Chantelle Brown, who has a rare skin condition and pigment disorder called vitiligo, in which the skin’s pigment cells are destroyed. As a result, white patches appear on the skin in different parts of the body.  

"A lot of people have a story and a background, but mine is painted on my body,” Chantelle says. Chantelle, whose vitiligo began to materialize at age four, grew up being bullied and called names such as “cow” and “zebra.” She struggled with her self-esteem and—at her lowest point—pondered suicide. Despite her struggles, she has learned to love her body and herself: "I have my flaws but I embrace them." See her interview in the video below!

How would you like to love your body and yourself like Chantelle? How would it feel to embrace your flaws as beautiful, rather than hiding them and tearing yourself down?

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From Body Loathing to Body Love

Are you preoccupied with mirrors, scales, or calories?

Are you frequently self-conscious about your appearance?

Do certain body parts tend to dominate your thoughts?

Do you often compare your looks to those of other women or to media models?

Do some of your body parts seem dramatically different from one day to the next?

Do people say you look better than you think you do?

A “yes” answer to any of these questions suggests that your body image may be distorted in a negative direction and that you could benefit from re-evaluating your body image and learning to care for it in a healthier way. If you would you like to free yourself from expectations about how you “should” look, then it’s time to transition from Body Loathing to Body Love! You can learn to like your looks and yourself by improving your body image. Rita Freedman, a licensed psychologist and a noted expert on topics related to physical appearance, gives us an inside scoop on what this entails.

Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It encompasses  Visual—what you see when you look at yourself Mental—how you think about your appearance Emotional—how you feel about your body, including height, shape, and weight Kinesthetic—how you sense and control your body parts, and your lifetime of experiences (pleasure, pain, praise & criticism).

Body loathing is a feeling of preoccupation and dissatisfaction with appearance. It creates anxiety about body parts, causes guilt and shame over flaws that are real or imagined, and  arouses self-consciousness and envy. Most women are familiar with it in one way or another—for example, two out of three women have mixed feelings or feel depressed when they look at their nude body in a mirror.

Body love is a mixture of emotions, attitudes, and actions that allow you to enjoy the way your body looks and the way it feels.  Body love enhances self-confidence and heightens physical pleasure. It involves caring and concern (like a loving relationship), and tolerance of flaws. We are all capable of loving our bodies, but it takes workto realize our potential.

What do you love? Yourself?

The people and things we love, we treat well. This is true for our friends and family members, our homes and cars, and even our smaller belongings that we love—we stay in touch with friends and family and make sure they’re doing well, we clean our apartments, and we may even dry clean our clothes! If we are willing to love and show our love for other people and things, shouldn’t we also do the same for ourselves? Yes!!!! If you’re not doing this already, it’s time to stop hating on yourself, and to give yourself the love, respect, and positive attention you deserve. One important way to start doing this is by changing how you think about, use, and interact with your body. Here are some tips for doing this, and for transitioning from Body Loathing to Body Love.

• Pay attention to your physical needs (pain, pleasure, hunger, fatigue) & your body will tell you how to nurture it (e.g. how much to eat, exercise, and sleep)
• Appreciate the pleasures your body can inherently provide (aesthetic, athletic, sensory & sexual)
• Accept your flaws and limitations, so you can freely enjoy the lovely parts of your body, and even find beauty or purpose in your flaws
• Set goals, not about how you want to look, but how you want to feel about your looks
• Admit that you need to change your relationship with your body and deal with resistance (delay, denial, blame, rationalizing, fear & avoidance)

In large part, you are what you think you are. Make over your mind about the new nature of your body, and start a romance with yourself!

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Recapturing Beauty Music Video Shoot

Thank you to everyone who came out and danced with us last month, especially Sister Elaine S. Dalton, BYU Vocal Point, and Stacey Harkey from Studio C. We can't wait to show you our Recapturing Beauty music video!

Check out our Facebook page for even more pictures!

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I Don't Want To Be (Just) Beautiful

I was never the "pretty girl" growing up. I was at least a foot taller than everyone my age, chubby, four-eyed, with no knowledge of how to dress or do my hair. My friends were all petite, with older sisters who helped them pick out outfits and curl their hair, so they could look just like every young girl wanted to look. I wasn't the pretty one. Until maybe halfway through high school, I never remember being complimented for my looks or my style.

But I do remember being complimented for other things.

"You are so good at taking care of your baby brothers!" 

"You are such a good writer!" 

"You would be a great teacher like your mom someday!" 

Those were the kind of compliments I got. Compliments that targeted the things I worked hardest for, the things I loved to do most, the things that led me to get accepted to BYU to become the teacher I knew I wanted to be.

Eventually I grew into my body, started getting interested in fashion, and learned how to feel beautiful in my own skin. I started blogging, and got the occasional compliment on my looks or style. But still, the compliments I treasured most weren't the ones focused on my looks. Sure, having anyone tell you that you're beautiful feels great, but I am still more flattered by a compliment to my intellect or hard work or humor than one to my appearance.

This article by BeautyRedefined.net is a reminder that you are more than your body. It targets the newest Dove campaign video titled "Selfie" that encourages young women and their mothers to realize their beauty through the selfies they take on their phones. While that idea is great--and it really is--it's still reinforcing the idea that beauty is the main quality women should be proud of. Beauty Redefined said something that hit home for me: "We don’t want girls and women to feel good about their appearances; we want them to feel good about themselves."

Then my good friend Tinesha went and wrote a 100% perfect post on Young Mormon Feminists. Tinesha says, "When beauty becomes the first thing we notice and use in order to raise self-esteem and self-worth, we are still perpetuating the idea that girls are only beautiful." 

YOU ARE NOT JUST BEAUTIFUL!

You are beautiful. I am beautiful. Take as many selfies as you want, and love every feature of yourself in those pictures. Post them on instagram, twitter, facebook. Love how you look. But more than that, love who you are. Soak in the compliments to your sense of humor after making a great joke, your test score earned after long hours of studying, your favorite meal that took hours to create. Soak in those compliments and give those compliments.

Be more than beautiful.

♥Kylie

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Just a Number

With the dropping of the ball over New York City last week, we have officially brought in a brand new year! 2014! I don't know about you guys, but I am a list-maker and a goal-setter, and a new year for me means new motivation to double my efforts at being the person I want to be. 

Here's a story about my history in goal-setting:

When I was fifteen, I made a goal not to eat any sweets until I had lost 'x' amount of pounds. I hung up a paper on my wall with the goal written in big black letters, and I told myself I could do it. I told myself the outcome was worth it, because being skinny was what my fifteen-year-old self needed to be happy.

As you can guess, I never reached that amount. Partially because I like sweets too much, and partially because that goal weight was unrealistic and actually not even very healthy for my body type. 

Three years later I made a goal to not eat sweets until graduation because I felt like I had been overindulging and had less energy than normal. I was sick of feeling sluggish. I went fifty days without sweets, and instead I substituted fresh fruit to curb my sugar cravings. I started waking up easier in the mornings, having less desire to take naps between school and work, and I got more homework done in less time. After fifty days of eating healthier, my energy was back!

So what's the difference?

The second time I made a goal to avoid sweets, I did it without ever stepping on a scale. I didn't know how much I weighed when I started, and I didn't know how much I weighed when I ended. I changed my eating habits so that my body would feel better, and guess what! It did! 

It is a media-trained quality in women to feel like we need to lose ten pounds, or we have to be under a certain weight, or we can't eat that cookie for dessert or else our pants will be too tight. Well I am here to beg you to stop listening to that insignificant number blinking up at you from your scale and listen to your body instead. Your body doesn't need a blinking number to feel good. It doesn't need a silly measurement to be healthy. Your body is beautiful no matter what your weight, and you should use those toned or skinny or jiggly arms to throw that scale straight in the trash. 

Make goals to eat more vegetables. Make goals to start running again. Make goals to eat a good breakfast every day. Make goals to help you feel healthy. But for 2014, please don't make goals that tell you your worth is based off of your body's relationship with the force of Earth's gravity. Because there is so much more to you than just a silly number.

♥Kylie

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I Didn't Diet for My Wedding

They tell you that on the most important day of your life you should look as good as you possibly can. “These pictures are forever!” they say and then they give you a big grin and walk away. I can’t tell you how many times I was asked if I was able to eat something in the months leading up to my wedding. They didn’t even ask if I was on a diet . . . they just assumed because, well, everyone is. So I guess I really blew some minds when I replied, “Oh, actually, I’m not dieting for my wedding.” I had mixed responses that included the following:

• Oh good for you girl! I’m not that brave (um, thank you?)
• Oh . . . why not? (very tactful)

And even,

• Don’t you think you should? (after a literal audible gasp)

So why would I make this crazy decision?

When I was seventeen I started competing in the Miss California division of Miss America. That’s right, beauty pageants. We’re talking full-blown, too much makeup for one human, six-inch heels, walking coaches, swimsuit butt glue, and dieting and dieting and dieting. For six years I competed on and off. For six years it was a back-and-forth hell of restricting everything I wanted for several months, competing, and then going crazy because I had been restricted, gaining back all the weight and hating myself the next time I wanted to compete. It was terrible. The worst part was convincing myself that I was competing because I needed the scholarship money and not because I liked wearing beautiful clothing and being in the spotlight. Even worse? I think I liked having an excuse to restrict my eating. I didn’t have to hide anything! Disordered eating was under the guise of a competition diet. 

It is so hard to be in this world as a woman with everyone shouting at you, “Five more pounds to go!” and “Only lean meats!” At one point I think I actually googled "recipes with no fat, no carbs, no sodium, no sugar." Living in a no, No, NO world for me was terrible. I hated myself, and I hated everyone else around me. 

Not dieting on the most important day of my life was the second-best decision I made to prepare for that day (after saying yes to my sweetheart, of course). I went into marriage knowing my new husband loved me for me, and that whatever size my clothing reported, I was enough. 

It sounds crazy, but I am grateful for the things pageants taught me: I’m more comfortable in public settings, I love interviews, I’m much more honest in my opinion because I can state it diplomatically, and I made some pretty amazing lifelong friends. My hope is to take the good I learned and use it with a new image of myself. Not a perfect image, but a confident one who helps people and loves unconditionally. Everyone deserves to look at themselves in their internal mirror and be enough. It took me not dieting for my wedding. 

So the question is . . .

What did/will it take for you? 

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A Love Letter to Your Body

I've always been fascinated by how therapeutic writing can be. Writing has always been something that has helped me to understand myself and the world around me a little better. Writing can be powerful in establishing and nurturing relationships with others and with ourselves. Think about it—in order to form honest, loving relationships with other people, we have to communicate how we feel. Love letters, thank-you notes, sympathy cards, song lyrics, poems, and the occasional note in your lunch box from Mom can all have a strong influence on our relationships with others. 

Believe it or not, the same thing can apply when it comes to forming a healthy relationship with our bodies. Expressive writing has been successfully used as a tool in eating disorder recovery programs (East, Startup, Roberts & Schmidt, 2010), as well as in programs like Recapturing Beauty that help people to form and strengthen a positive body image. Our bodies do so much for us every day! I think they deserve some words of affirmation every once in a while. We are all at different points in how we feel toward our bodies. But no matter where we are on that journey, there's always room for a little more love.

So here's a challenge: write a love letter to your body! This love letter can be written to your whole body, or just a part of it—maybe a part that you particularly appreciate and adore, or maybe a part you've had a rocky relationship with. It can be a full-out love letter, or just a short love note. You can keep this letter private, or talk about it with someone. It's up to you! Just remember, you can be as honest as you want to be, and say how you really feel. Try to think of positive and honest things you can tell your body. That is how you'll get the most out of this exercise. The goal of this writing activity is to help you strengthen your relationship with your body. Happy writing!

Here is an example of a love letter written from a young woman to her tummy. She's given her permission for her letter to be posted here. :)

Dear Tummy,

There are a lot of things that I like about you. I like that your belly button is kind of cute. I like the feeling of your muscles tightening when I laugh deeply. I never thought I'd say this, but I like that you are soft and not hard. I think of all of the comforting, soft tummies I have rested my head on in my lifetime, and I am glad that you are like those tummies. And it's scary for me to say this, but I like that someday you will stretch and make room for my children to grow. I like your smooth skin, and even your paleness during the summertime. I like that you are warm, but that you get cold when I exercise.

Dear tummy, even though you have so many great qualities, it's sometimes hard for me to love you. To me, you represent vulnerability. You represent the things in my life that I feel are hard to hide and scary to show because they are not “perfect.” I'm learning, though, that those parts of me are the parts that make me unique and lovable. Those parts of me don't meet the world's standard of perfection, but that doesn't mean I can't love them. I think the same thing goes for you, tummy. You might not look like the dream-tummy of fitness magazines, but that doesn't mean I can't love you for what you are. That doesn't mean I can't love you just for being a part of the body that God created for me. This might sound strange, but I think you're teaching me lessons that I need to learn. So thank you.

Love,
Me

Article written by Jessica Croft

Sources:

East, P., Startup, H., Roberts, C., & Schmidt, U. (2010). Expressive writing and eating disorder features: A preliminary trial in a student sample of the impact of three writing tasks on eating disorder symptoms and associated cognitive, affective and interpersonal factors. European Eating Disorders Review, doi: 10.1002/erv.978

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Lessons for Swans

About two years ago, I substituted a class in my home ward's Primary. For sharing time, the senior Primary watched this video. I really loved it, and I cried like a Sunbeam while watching it.  It gave me some much-needed perspective.

(Watch it. It is totally worth the 3 minutes and 44 seconds!)

I used to roll my eyes at the story of The Ugly Duckling. The cynical part of me would always scoff at the message I tended to get from the story, which is "Mmmkay, so everyone who was born a swan can feel GREAT about themselves because they're prettier than ducks! Nice!" (Also, I don't really like birds in general. Swans are not as tranquil as they look.)

But I really love the way President Uchtdorf presents the message. (And I love the way he says "Hans Christian Andersen." So cool.) The story is not about appearances. It is about understanding identity. It is that understanding that changes the way you see your reflection in the mirror. It doesn't really matter what is reflected back at you. Without understanding who you are, that reflection is just an image. When we do understand who we are, we can begin to fully appreciate the phenomenal potential and power we possess as children of God. We can recognize both our physical beauty and, on a deeper level, our spiritual and eternal beauty.  President Uchtdorf is right—the knowledge of who we really are does change everything.

Recapturing Beauty is a quest to deconstruct lies about beauty and replace them with truth. Just like the little swan in the story, we can have personal experiences that reveal the truth about beauty to us on an individual basis. Recapturing Beauty is the type of movement that will go far if it is based on the heartfelt convictions of men and women who understand who they truly are. Sometimes it takes courage to do what the swan  did--take a look at himself and accept the identity that was reflected back at him. But, thankfully, God is more than willing to bless us with the comfort of knowing who we are. As the apostle Paul said, "The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God" (Romans 8:16).

Article by Jessica Croft

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Building Foundations for Confidence

As much as we may criticize the appearance-based value system of today's society, we should also take care not to retreat to the other end of the spectrum.

I've heard people say that we should never praise little girls for being cute or stylish. They say that focusing on looks rather than other, more important character traits reinforces society's shallow standards. Thus, we should only compliment their creativity, their wit, etc.

I agree, of course, that a young girl should know she has more to offer the world than a pretty face. But a very real danger also lies in never telling her that she does have a pretty face. Or a nice figure. Or healthy hair.

We are daughters (and sons) of a Heavenly Father. We are made in His image. He has a literal body and He has graciously decided to give us stewardship over our own amazing bodies. It's perfectly appropriate to appreciate the beauty endowed in each of us; we just need to be sure to recognize that beauty comes in many forms and that physical beauty is only one admirable aspect of a human being.

I have three gorgeous nieces. They are spunky, creative, and curious. They are intelligent and funny. They are loving. Yet they are also truly beautiful children, each for various reasons, whether it's bright eyes or curly hair or freckled skin. I tell them constantly that I love them for their creative and fun personalities, but I also remind them often of their physical beauty.

In high school, my parents praised me for my intelligence, academic prowess, and hard work. They also praised me for my big smile, my healthy hair, and my daring fashion sense. I had friends whose parents did not compliment their looks. They felt inadequate and insecure. While I certainly had moments of insecurity about my appearance, I could always look back and treasure my parents' kind words about it. I had a foundation for confidence which my peers sometimes lacked. That's why I tell my nieces they have pretty hair or cute freckles; I want them to have that foundation as well.

We all want to be pretty. I know that's a bold statement, but I hold it to be true. It may not be a top priority, and it shouldn't be, but deep down we all love it when we receive a compliment on our appearance. Going through life believing that you are unattractive is painful. It causes problems like eating disorders and a lack of self-worth. You might say that putting an emphasis on appearances causes these problems. Think about it, though. If you tell a girl she's beautiful, if you let her know that others appreciate her looks, will she feel the compulsion to mutilate her body? Probably not! She will most likely feel a greater desire to take care of it and cultivate a healthy lifestyle.

Let's all be more careful about how we talk to young people, as well as our peers. Let's remember to mingle praise of personality traits with praise of physical appearance. Remember that God sees beauty in us all and that He wants us to recognize that same beauty in others. Neglecting to do so can stir up the same, or even greater, problems than those caused by focusing only on physical appearances.

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It's Not About Freckles: Seeing our Whole Selves

Growing up, I hated my freckles. I thought they were abnormal and unattractive. I hated that people always commented on them. "Oh, look at those freckles!" "Wow, so many freckles!" My feelings about my freckles were a sneak-preview of the insecurities that crept into my life as I entered adolescence. And it didn't start or end with freckles, either. I felt that way about other parts of my body, too. Without even realizing it, I stepped onto a slippery slope of negative self-image. Eventually, when I would look in the mirror, I would be disgusted by what I saw.

As a teenager, I didn't realize my negative body image was about more than just my looks. It was about my fear of being noticed, of being the subject of comments or criticism. I don't know exactly where the feeling started, but I felt like I wasn't good enough. I hated my freckles (and most other parts of my body) because they were a physical manifestation of me, and I did not like myself. Gradually, those feelings of disgust toward my body and myself as a person turned into harmful behaviors that developed into an eating disorder.

The message of my eating disorder at its worst was often,  “If you lose weight, you'll be beautiful. People will love you when you are thin.  Nothing will be able to make you feel inadequate if you are thin. Thin is all you need to be to be happy. And if you don't lose weight—if you stay the way you are, you will never be good enough.” In the worst years of my eating disorder, I completely, 100% submitted to those lies. I started to define myself by those lies, and for a long time I got totally lost in them.

Unfortunately, stories like mine aren't uncommon. In a society that constantly sends false messages about the definitions of beauty and self-worth, it's no wonder that eating disorders, negative body image, and unhealthy relationships with food and exercise are on the rise. The media, the corporate world, and the entertainment industry would have us all believe that how we look defines who we are and what we are worth. That message is enough to make anyone anxious.

Appearances can be distracting. That's why we focus on them--because it's easier to obsess over something physical than to analyze issues that could be emotional, mental or spiritual. But superficial solutions for repairing feelings of insecurity never get us far. Neither does abusing food or exercise, or staring in the mirror and yearning to see something different. Hating my freckles didn't get me anywhere, but challenging the belief that my freckles were ugly and I was therefore unlovable--that got me somewhere. Healing and change have come from really looking at myself--my whole self, not just my physical self--and challenging the damaging beliefs I harbored in the past.

Photo by Brooke Schultz

Here's a secret: Today, I love my freckles. It's true!  And I've come a long way in combating my eating disorder and living a healthier, happier life outside the grasp of addictive behaviors. These changes have happened through a lot of work and a lot of help, including help from BYUWSR's group Fed Up With Food.

Recapturing beauty has nothing to do with changing our physical selves, and everything to do with seeing our whole selves. Seeing the whole picture—that we are more than our looks alone—requires personal effort and a lot of support. That support is available from Heavenly Father; from friends, family and organizations that inspire a clear vision of wellness and beauty; and even our own insights into who we really are. These are the sources to which women and men should be encouraged to turn in order to discover beauty, and not to any source that would tell them they need to manipulate themselves physically to be beautiful.

It's not about freckles, and it's not about how thin, tall, toned, or tanned we are either. It's about finding an identity formed from all parts of who we are as children of God. That's something we can all achieve, should we choose to make it our goal.

But how do we do it?  How do we start seeing our whole selves?  A few suggestions to get started:

• Find and write down things you like about yourself that do not have to do with your body or appearance.
• Give sincere compliments to others that are based on something other than their looks, clothing, or accessories.
• Find and develop talents and hobbies that will add meaning to your life.  
• Seek help from others who have made progress in this area.
• Study the scriptures and words of modern prophets to learn more about how Heavenly Father sees His children, and about how the Savior feels about us.
• Give service to those in need and start seeing beyond appearances in the way you interact with others.
• Avoid media that degrades or objectifies the body.  Seek out and/or create media that encourages a holistic view of self-worth.

What has helped you start seeing your whole self?  What other suggestions would you make?  What are the barriers that you've faced in seeing your whole self?  Share in the comments!

Article by Jessica Croft

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10-Day Challenge Closing Celebration

TONIGHT!  TONIGHT!!  TONIGHT!!!

Tonight is our 10 Day Challenge Closing Celebration!!!

6:00–6:40 Check in and get your t-shirt

6:45–7:00 Welcome

7:00–8:00 ZUMBA

If you signed up in our office or at one of our booths for the 10-Day Challenge, this is when you get your free Beautiful t-shirt. Unfortunately, if you didn't sign up, we won't be able to give you a free shirt. (However, if you would like one, feel free to sign up for the 10-Day Challenge at the event, do the Challenge, then come to our office after you've completed it, and we'll get you a shirt. Otherwise, they are for sale at the Information Desk for $5.)

Feel free to bring friends and/or roommates with you to the Zumba event tonight, even if they didn't participate in the 10 Day Challenge. All are welcome!!!

Wear comfortable workout clothes. But be ready to change into your Beautiful t-shirt for Zumba (or pull it on over your regular workout shirt) so we're one big crowd of BEAUTIFUL!

See you there!!!!

IMPORTANT NOTE: Since this is a BYU event, we will be enforcing the Honor Code, so please wear appropriate clothing. From the Honor Code Statement: "Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee-length or longer." We recognize that exercising may require clothing with a tighter fit or different cut than normal to promote comfortable movement, so that will be taken into account. However, if you are wearing something that is deemed inappropriate, one of our volunteers or staff members may pull you aside and request that you return home to change and come back to the event in different clothing.

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True Beauty

I love Dove’s campaign! I love what it teaches young girls and grown women. I am disturbed at what our culture teaches us about beauty. It is an epidemic that leaves everyone feeling worthless. We are each so unique, but when one thing is defined as beautiful we all become the same and invisible. I was thinking about this recently in regards to purchasing beauty. So ever since the new fake eyelash trend started, people keep asking me where I get my eyelashes done. This always makes me laugh because I have never had mine "done". I was thinking about how when something can be purchased, it loses its value. I started to wonder if natural blondes felt about their hair the way I do about my eyelashes. If we all be ourselves, then we are all a hot commodity. There are as many ways to be beautiful as there are women and men.

As I have been doing the 10 day body image challenge I have been thinking a lot about what beautiful is. I know what our culture defines as beautiful. I know what things people look at on me that they think is beautiful or not. My beauty is something else. My beauty is something that will stand the test of time. My body is a capsule for what is beautiful about me. My body is for me to enjoy, not you. My body was made to help me get around, to grow babies, to touch and love others, to smile, to taste, to see, to feel and to laugh. People who love my body will fall out of love quickly. My body will change, weaken, hang, stretch, and die. People who love what is in my body can love me forever. What is in my body will blossom, strengthen, grow, brighten, and live on.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Things that are beautiful about me:

• I have a huge heart
• I am forgiving
• I notice when others are hurting and I try to make it better
• I am silly
• I am generous, if you need something I will give it to you
• I have unwavering faith, I’m a believer
• I know how to connect to others
• I love well

Take a minute and comment. I would love to know what is beautiful about all of you!

Prompt: What is beautiful about you that has nothing to do with your body?

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