I was never the "pretty girl" growing up. I was at least a foot taller than everyone my age, chubby, four-eyed, with no knowledge of how to dress or do my hair. My friends were all petite, with older sisters who helped them pick out outfits and curl their hair, so they could look just like every young girl wanted to look. I wasn't the pretty one. Until maybe halfway through high school, I never remember being complimented for my looks or my style.
But I do remember being complimented for other things.
"You are so good at taking care of your baby brothers!"
"You are such a good writer!"
"You would be a great teacher like your mom someday!"
Those were the kind of compliments I got. Compliments that targeted the things I worked hardest for, the things I loved to do most, the things that led me to get accepted to BYU to become the teacher I knew I wanted to be.
Eventually I grew into my body, started getting interested in fashion, and learned how to feel beautiful in my own skin. I started blogging, and got the occasional compliment on my looks or style. But still, the compliments I treasured most weren't the ones focused on my looks. Sure, having anyone tell you that you're beautiful feels great, but I am still more flattered by a compliment to my intellect or hard work or humor than one to my appearance.
This article by BeautyRedefined.net is a reminder that you are more than your body. It targets the newest Dove campaign video titled "Selfie" that encourages young women and their mothers to realize their beauty through the selfies they take on their phones. While that idea is great--and it really is--it's still reinforcing the idea that beauty is the main quality women should be proud of. Beauty Redefined said something that hit home for me: "We don’t want girls and women to feel good about their appearances; we want them to feel good about themselves."
Then my good friend Tinesha went and wrote a 100% perfect post on Young Mormon Feminists. Tinesha says, "When beauty becomes the first thing we notice and use in order to raise self-esteem and self-worth, we are still perpetuating the idea that girls are only beautiful."
YOU ARE NOT JUST BEAUTIFUL!
You are beautiful. I am beautiful. Take as many selfies as you want, and love every feature of yourself in those pictures. Post them on instagram, twitter, facebook. Love how you look. But more than that, love who you are. Soak in the compliments to your sense of humor after making a great joke, your test score earned after long hours of studying, your favorite meal that took hours to create. Soak in those compliments and give those compliments.
Be more than beautiful.