Building Foundations for Confidence

As much as we may criticize the appearance-based value system of today's society, we should also take care not to retreat to the other end of the spectrum.

I've heard people say that we should never praise little girls for being cute or stylish. They say that focusing on looks rather than other, more important character traits reinforces society's shallow standards. Thus, we should only compliment their creativity, their wit, etc.

I agree, of course, that a young girl should know she has more to offer the world than a pretty face. But a very real danger also lies in never telling her that she does have a pretty face. Or a nice figure. Or healthy hair.

We are daughters (and sons) of a Heavenly Father. We are made in His image. He has a literal body and He has graciously decided to give us stewardship over our own amazing bodies. It's perfectly appropriate to appreciate the beauty endowed in each of us; we just need to be sure to recognize that beauty comes in many forms and that physical beauty is only one admirable aspect of a human being.

I have three gorgeous nieces. They are spunky, creative, and curious. They are intelligent and funny. They are loving. Yet they are also truly beautiful children, each for various reasons, whether it's bright eyes or curly hair or freckled skin. I tell them constantly that I love them for their creative and fun personalities, but I also remind them often of their physical beauty.

In high school, my parents praised me for my intelligence, academic prowess, and hard work. They also praised me for my big smile, my healthy hair, and my daring fashion sense. I had friends whose parents did not compliment their looks. They felt inadequate and insecure. While I certainly had moments of insecurity about my appearance, I could always look back and treasure my parents' kind words about it. I had a foundation for confidence which my peers sometimes lacked. That's why I tell my nieces they have pretty hair or cute freckles; I want them to have that foundation as well.

We all want to be pretty. I know that's a bold statement, but I hold it to be true. It may not be a top priority, and it shouldn't be, but deep down we all love it when we receive a compliment on our appearance. Going through life believing that you are unattractive is painful. It causes problems like eating disorders and a lack of self-worth. You might say that putting an emphasis on appearances causes these problems. Think about it, though. If you tell a girl she's beautiful, if you let her know that others appreciate her looks, will she feel the compulsion to mutilate her body? Probably not! She will most likely feel a greater desire to take care of it and cultivate a healthy lifestyle.

Let's all be more careful about how we talk to young people, as well as our peers. Let's remember to mingle praise of personality traits with praise of physical appearance. Remember that God sees beauty in us all and that He wants us to recognize that same beauty in others. Neglecting to do so can stir up the same, or even greater, problems than those caused by focusing only on physical appearances.

ADSENSE HERE

You Are Awesome.

Every morning I have the horrible habit of checking every single social media network that I am a part of. Every single one. 

Usually I start with Facebook. Then I make my way through Twitter, check out new YouTube videos, scroll through my dash on Tumblr for a bit, pin a few things on Pinterest... I know. It probably could be diagnosed as some kind of condition, but what can I say? Witty statuses make me chuckle, I get a kick out of drooling over pictures of perfectly catered Instagram-edited meals, and repinning all of those outfits I will never buy is one of my favorite pastimes.

But every once in awhile I stumble across a gem. And today, ladies (and gents)... I found one! 

On my news feed I saw a link to a blog post written back in December by Seattle-based blogger Kathryn Thompson at Daring Young Mom. It’s entitled “Drops of Awesome”, and it basically talks about how we should be patting ourselves on the back when we do good things. We shouldn’t be letting our mistakes or worries cloud those happy moments where we actually do something right. She says it’s important to remember that “Every time you do something good, something kind, something productive, it’s a drop in your Bucket of Awesome. You don’t lose drops for every misstep. You can only build. You can only fill.”

So you might have already scarfed down a pie when you resolved to be healthy this year. You might have had a horrible fall semester that brought down your GPA a couple points. You might have burned the chocolate chip cookies meant for your Visiting Teachees. But does that mean all is lost?

No, not all is lost. Fact is, and I’m trying to restrain myself from rolling my eyes as I say this, no one is perfect. And since I know we've all heard that before, let me put it in another way that may seem a teensy bit gloomy and off-putting at first:

 No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, your life will always be imperfect.

What?

Yes. And that isn’t a bad thing. You have been blessed with a beautiful life chock-full of imperfections where nothing is going to go completely as planned, and isn’t that amazing? Being human means we’re blessed to make mistakes and to learn and grow from them and it’s just absolutely fantastic! That’s why it’s so important to remember to not beat ourselves up. I think that it’s so easy to forget sometimes that we are not asked to be perfect, because perfection in this life is impossible. We just have to try. We’re only asked to try.

So the way I figure it, even though I spend far too much time obsessing over social media sites, even though I’m not a straight A student, even though I’m not supermodel thin or able to parkour off buildings or to speak seventeen different languages, I still shouldn’t sell myself short. You know why? Because each time I limit my internet usage, go on a run, do a couple flips on the trampoline or practice my Spanish conjugations, it shows that I’m trying. And I’ll take a couple drops of awesome for doing just that.

ADSENSE HERE