Some love the holiday and some hate it. Last weekend I had an opportunity to be home with my own mother for the holiday—an opportunity that I quickly seized. It was a quiet but nice day. We went to church, cooked a nice dinner, and played two games of Yahtzee that I lost miserably. While it was a pleasant day, I couldn't help but think of all the women who find Mother’s Day so painful or terrible and I wondered how it could be worked out so that my little family could enjoy our day celebrating the joys and sacrifices my mother has given us without causing so much hurt to so many.
As I sat in church I thought about the women who would never have children in this life. How terrible it must be, I thought, that year after year there is a whole day dedicated to that painful reality. Then I thought about the children of mothers who were or are still abusive, manipulative, sadistic, and plain and simple bad mothers. How cheated and broken this day must make them feel. Then I thought about the women who have lost children or children who have lost mothers, and the hurt that comes from what once was and cannot be in this life.I read a blog post recently in which a woman stated that she hated Mother’s Day because she didn't like insinuating that women with children were more important than women without children. I guess I never thought about it like that. Mother’s Day was founded by a woman named Anna Jarvis who wanted to honor the sacrifices that women made for their families. I don’t think you have to have children to fall into that category. I make sacrifices for my parents, my sisters, my grandparents, and my husband all the time. In many ways I mother them from time to time. Most women (and men for that matter) make similar sacrifices. Have we changed the meaning of Mother’s Day to a point that not having children of your own exempts you from being important or loved?
Please understand that I am not trying to pass judgment. If you hate Mother’s Day there is undoubtedly a good reason for it. I just want to start a conversation. If you hate Mother’s Day I want to ask what people could do around you to make it a little more bearable. What do you need so that I can have a quiet day honoring my mother without making you feel sad? Is that even possible?