You meet him, he gets your number, and you wait—you wait for that text that assures you of his interest in you. You go out on a date, and you wait—you wait for that post-date text (PDT) to assure you of his interest in you. You start texting daily, you wait—you wait every morning for him to start the texting conversation to assure you of his interest in you. You start going on dates—it’s getting more serious, but you still wait—you wait for that text because a text isn’t just communication, it’s assurance in the form of “Good morning beautiful” or “How is your day?” that lets you know he cares enough to remember you on his busy day. And like most forms of assurance/reassurance in romantic relationships, it needs to be fairly constant. Luckily for us, sending a text only takes a couple seconds, and its effects are far reaching. Texting is quick, easy, and convenient; it’s a good way to get to know people without the pressure, and—hey—it’s fun!
But what of those studies reporting that texting is bad for relationships? Well, while texting is a great way to break the ice, get relationships rolling, and for couples to stay in touch, it isn’t an adequate substitution for real communication and connection. For any relationship to develop there needs to be a transition towards maturity, part of that means a transition away from texting as the main source of communication or as a means to solve problems. Texting is too impersonal. Yes, it’s easier to say something vulnerable—or even something in anger—over text, but unless you can learn to share those feelings in person, in a productive way, your relationship isn’t headed for greatness. Take the time and the courage to grow closer, to share your feelings face to face, and to look in his eyes to work through a problem. Be patient enough to wait until you are together to discuss the important things. Be brave enough to let your relationship progress. It’s not always easy, but that’s what makes it so meaningful.
As for texting, use it for what it is—a quick, easy, convenient way to stay in touch when you can't be together.
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