Rainy days can sometimes get you down, especially if you’re ill-prepared. I had one of these days last week. During a particularly fierce rainstorm I found myself caught walking across campus without a coat or umbrella. As I half-ran half-trudged I passed by a big window and had the opportunity to glance at my reflection. I felt the familiar twinge of “I’m not good enough” as I regretted the time I had spent on my hair that morning, time that now seemed to be wasted because I looked like I had just stepped out of the shower.
The thought “I’m not good (beautiful, successful, outgoing, popular, exciting, happy) enough” is all too familiar to many men and women alike. This single thought can cause hopelessness, inner anger, fear, depression, and many more negative emotions.
But you are always good enough.
As I looked at my reflection and longed for smooth, flowing hair instead of the damp mop plastered to my face, I caught myself and decided I did not want to feel that way. There are three steps I repeat to myself during these times, and I repeated them now:
Step one: “I am feeling inadequate, but that is not me. I am not inadequate. How I am feeling does not define me. I feel inadequate, but I do not have to feel that way if I don’t want to.”
Step two: “I feel it in my stomach. It feels like a vacuum, like nothing else can be there because it’s taking up all the room, but it also feels like emptiness at the same time. It feels like ugliness and unhappiness. This is not what I choose to feel.”
Step three: “Thank you for checking in, I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Usually I follow step three with a quick prayer of gratitude.
The three steps are designed first to recognize the emotion you’re feeling, then to identify where you feel it and how it feels, and finally to dis-identify from the emotion, allowing room to instead feel love and gratitude.
You are not your emotions.
It’s a weird concept and can be hard to believe, but it’s true! Just because you feel angry sometimes does not mean you are an angry person. Just because you feel inadequate does not mean you are inadequate.
Our emotions are the result of neurons firing in our brains in a certain way . . . They do not define or make up who we are. Who we are is not defined by our brains, what we look like, or how our bodies work. Who we are is simply this: We are Spirits, created by Heavenly Father. Spirits who have been given a body and a mind as tools.
Our minds are tools and our bodies are tools—meant for use by our Spirits. Why let our minds and bodies take the driver’s seat in life when we know they are the source of “natural man” instincts? Why not let our Spirit guide us, knowing that it is the Spirit which receives revelation and instructions from the One who can see the whole path.
When you find yourself allowing those negative emotions to creep in, ask yourself, “is this revelation? Is this truth? Or is this a product of my mind?” Then do the three steps:
Step one: Identify the emotion you are feeling. Affirm to yourself that it does not define who you are. Refer to the emotion as “it,” allowing yourself to sever any personal connection you may have with that emotion.
Step two: Identify where you feel the emotion and what it feels like. Recognize that the where and what of the emotion is the product of neurons in your brain and a physical response from your body, and that you can choose not to feel that way if you let your Spirit take the wheel.
Step three: Thank yourself for checking in on your feelings, and tell yourself you love you. Then of course direct the same expressions to your Heavenly Father.
Your emotions do not have to rule you. You can choose to feel only peace, love, and joy when you put your faith not in what your mind tells you, but in God only. You are not inadequate; you have divine heritage! You are your Spirit, a child of God, and that is the beginning and the end.
By Janai Gariety
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