I remember when my first serious boyfriend broke up with me. I was blindsided and devastated. He was my first love and out of nowhere he decided that I wasn’t good enough for him. The next few days are still a bit fuzzy to me. I know that I got up the next day and threw up I was so ill about losing him. Then I proceeded to go on with my life but I know that I wasn’t eating, I was having terrible nightmares, and I shut off from my friends and family for a time. For years after the event I would think about that time in my life and feel so stupid. It was just a boy. It was just a breakup. Why was I so crazy? Now, as a therapist, my perspective has changed on the event. What I realize now that I didn’t then was that I was in something called emotional shock.
Working at Women’s Services and Resources I sometimes meet with women in my office that have had something traumatic happen to them very recently. These traumatic events could be things can be something as small as my breakup or as serious and long reaching as a parent passing away. Several months ago I met with a young woman whose boyfriend had shared with her his long struggle with pornographic material. As she was explaining to me what had happened all I could see was myself several years earlier. Suffering, scared, and unsure.
Emotional shock happens when an unexpected traumatic or terrifying event occurs. The adrenaline in our body goes into overdrive in a way that makes clear thought and decision making difficult. This means that when you most need your brain to work to help you past a terrible event it shuts down on you and your body has a hard time coping. Common symptoms of emotional shock include numbing, detachment, muteness, depersonalization, and continued re-experiencing of the event in thoughts, dreams, and flashbacks. These symptoms usuall
For most people emotional shock will resolve itself over time. The most important things for those first few days are to be kind to yourself and to try to not make any quick decisions. Just as with the woman in my office who was alone and afraid, I tell my clients experiencing emotional shock to make a plan to eat something every four to five hours, to stay warm, and to expect emotional breakdowns about seemingly insignificant things. Tell someone you trust about what is happening with you and if your symptoms persist seek help from a professional. Trust me; this isn’t stupid or just a little thing. It doesn’t matter what small or big thing brought on the shock. The important thing is taking care of yourself and seeking support.