It was from Randy Houser's song "Goodnight Kiss." If you've heard it before, you know that the song is basically about this guy telling the woman he's (presumably) dating that he wants to blow off their plans with her friends, park his truck, and make out.
At first-listen, it's nothing particularly new or different compared to other things we hear on the radio. But the line that really startled (and pleased) me was, "Just tell me that you want to."
Here's a man who clearly wants to go further with his partner, but he qualifies his entire suggestion with that one clincher: he'll only go through with it if she wants the same thing. He's not here to coerce her into anything she doesn't want. He's just telling her what he wants, hoping that she reciprocates! It's a surprisingly feminist approach to physical intimacy.
The thing is, I wish it didn't surprise me. I wish that similar sentiments popped up more often in popular music. But instead we hear things like Robin Thicke's famous lyric—"I know you want it" (from his song "Blurred Lines")—and we have to wonder, does she really want it?
How can this man know if his partner "wants it" unless he takes the time to ask her? Unless he gives her the chance to refuse?
Consent forms the boundary between assault and intimacy. Without clear consent from both parties involved, physical contact should not occur. That goes for not only sex itself but for other forms of physical contact, such as tickling, cuddling, kissing, hugging, and touching.
Consent should never be assumed. Even within a committed relationship (like marriage or dating), each individual should have the opportunity to reject the other person's advances without fear of retribution, guilt, or harm.
Furthermore, consent is not merely the absence of a spoken "no." When one partner is unconscious or unable to think clearly (perhaps asleep or not sober), consent cannot be obtained. Consent can also not be obtained when one partner is below the legal age of consent (which varies depending on local laws). Additionally, body language may alert one partner that the other is uncomfortable for some reason, even if the individual has not explicitly said so.
When in doubt, JUST ASK. Say things like, "Is it okay if I kiss you?" or "Can I give you a hug?" Maybe it feels silly and unromantic, but consent is always more romantic than unwanted physical contact.
ADSENSE HERE